Mai bhi Madhuri Dixit banana chahti thi

Maneuvering through growing up years; Madhuri Dixit was one female I was always awed by (like arati is still awed by sugandha kapoor!). I had to watch her every move more than ek do teen times. It was something about her that always intrigued me & still does; of course like millions others. I know I have a better dressing sense than she has had (critics; I am gutsy enough to be honest, if not modest & u can be my guest), but I always liked her hairdo. I tell sanjay all the time that I have always wanted to have a hairstyle like hers. Sanjay’s comment on this “gal, what went wrong then?” Me having two left feet also made it impossible for me to master her dance moves. Finally, I gave up.
On a broader note, why was this need within me to be like somebody else? I have seen myself growing internally & from the exterior while I was trying to be comfortable with different masks. Does everybody go through this phase? Or is this what they call discovering oneself? Ironically I always thought; once we get comfortable in our own skin, it should be easy to find oneself. Or may be being comfortable with oneself is the leap toward self-revelation. Once I read somewhere, “every person who is comfortable in his own skin is beautiful”. These days I have started being comfortable in my own skin for sure, by which I don’t imply I am beautiful! (Guys ask me to be their sister all the time on orkut). This was not a defense but rather an offense. I am extremely comfortable at this face off though!
P.S: This post deserves rave reviews considering the amount of fun I have poked at myself.

Let Truth Prevail

Finally Manu Sharma is convicted; a relief to every law abiding citizen! Press (TOI) claims he didn’t have any sign of remorse on his face even after hearing the verdict. What is he made of? I am glad he got imprisoned for life; this way he gets an idea of how life is without any power, money, freedom or will. To me, this is a very important day for Indian democracy; we established that people cannot get away with any kind of crime on the basis of power. This verdict also established the fact that nobody can curb junta’s voice. How thankful Jessica’s family must be when the Delhi High Court reopened her case on public unrest. Good to know, that even in a country as corrupt as ours, law & order are not completely unheard of. This was my point in my earlier post; http://vaidehid.blogspot.com/2006/08/when-life-imitates-art.html.

Ganguly is back

I used to follow cricket relentlessly & then gave up couple of years ago for reasons unknown; well, that’s not the point here. I have always admired Saurav Ganguly as a very aggressive cricketer first & later a captain. He might not have been of the Tendulkar league, but he was above average all the while. During the helm of his successful captaincy he was being tagged as the most successful captain of the era & what not. People & the media admired him for his youthful approach, his “not to get bogged down” spirit & every Bengali was proud because he was a Bengali! Not to forget, it was under him we played the world cup finals.
Things changed after a while; his batting performance was deteriorating, team was falling apart, even those boys behind whom he stood like a rock, now were not sure about their “dada’s” capabilities. Selection committee politics, politics in general to grab limelight & his own urge to have a hold on the team worsened his position. A couple of more failures & he was out of the team.
Why couldn’t Saurav Ganguly ever retire from the captaincy when he saw the first signs of trouble? Is it the money, power, limelight that one can’t seem to live away from?
Why did he not quit the cricket team after so many insults? Why could he not understand that he was not indispensable?
Why couldn’t his fans & the media support him anymore?
“Sourav Ganguly was like a lonely, forgotten star that had lost its way on a dark, menacing night: while all others had quickly sought refuge behind safe clouds somewhere, he stayed back in the skies and glittered. Brightly and defiantly,” is what TOI has quoted today for his performance in the test match, 2 more matches, a couple of 100 runs more & media will pronounce him a star again. A few more failures & he will be a burden! Hey Saurav, don’t fall for this crap, you definitely know better man.

Home that once was

Every time I go home; trips short or long, I experience the same jitters, the anxiety to see family & friends. The first smell I remember as soon as I land in Bombay is of the phenyl cleaned floors! So typical of home I tell myself.
However, after I spend 2 weeks or so with my family, I start getting a little bored with everyone busy in their life, not any more friends around, nothing to do at all! The same Nagpur where I spent 21 years of my life, where I was born & raised as a kid, Nagpur that contributes toward my Marathi dialect; so many facets of my personality & the place where I made the very first friends of my life! The same Somalwar (Ramdaspeth mind you!) which once was more fun than any Disneyland in the world, VRCE (yeah rite now VNIT, but always VRCE for me) where I learnt from anything to everything. The metallurgy dept. stairs where we all sat for 3 years & passed comment on almost every moving creature.
Now whenever I go home, all these things are present, but its no more fun being in somalwar without my partner in crime Marshneil, no fun in VRCE without my rocking project partners & batchmates. The meta stairs are not fun anymore, without expert comments from Chandreyi. The canteen looked deserted without Abhay/Vinayak/Sumeet & me not discussing any philosophy on life anymore. However, all of us have been aptly replaced by some younger dudes & chicks & I saw them having the same fun.
No doubt I always get nostalgic whenever I visit these places, but I think trying to hold on to time is like trying to grab fistful of sand in your hands, the tighter you try to hold it, the sooner it’ll slip off between the gaps! It’s better to let that sand slip off & build new memories on the strong pillar of the old ones.
They say; Home is where the heart is, my heart is still at Home!

I did learn a few things.....

Arati once forwarded me some interesting one liners, I got inspired & came up with my version.

I have learned that,
It’s never too late to say sorry to a friend.

I have learned that,
Jobs & careers may come & go, but friends & family stay forever.

I have learned that,
It’s an excuse when we say we lost our naivety in the hustle of the world.

I have learned that,
You can’t be a size 2 for the rest of your life!

I have learned that,
You will always get a driving ticket when you are having a difficult time balancing your checking account.

I have learned that,
Never be the first one to arrive for a party & the last one to leave.

I have learned that,
Things never get so bad that they can’t get worse!

I have learned that,
I always learn it the harder way.

I have learned that,
Never trust realtors, lawyers, doctors, car dealers & the government.

I have learned that,
No matter how good a gambler you are, the House always wins!

I have learned that,
I always perform better under stress.

I have learned that,
Money doesn’t buy happiness, but it’s more comfortable to be sad when the bills are taken care of!

I have learned that,
Life is always unfair, all one needs to be is a fair interpreter.

I have learned that,
People think I am alright when I sound obtuse!

Robert Lee a.k.a. Munnabhai MBBS!

I came across a very moving tale in RD, about Robert Lee, an aspiring Olympics gymnast, turned into a Physio doctor by a sudden stroke of fate. While Lee was training for gymnastics of Olympics 1984, he hit the ground & his ribs were paralyzed. He got stuck to a wheel chair as a teenager, that year he watched the Olympics with his parents on his wheelchair! A fighter that he was, he won scholarships & went all the way to Med school & became a doctor. After completing his residency, he is working at John Hopkins as a resident doctor. He says when he was undergoing treatments, doctors always fumbled among themselves & never bothered to inform him or his family about what exactly was going on. That was the time he decided he wanted to be a doctor who would relate to his patients. People claim, he has enabled many dormant nerves to function, just because he could connect to his patients emotionally or was more attentive to his patients’ needs. Lee can connect to his patients may be because of the ordeal he has went through in his personal life. Isn’t it nice to actually have a doctor who is treating his patients physiologically as well psychologically! Isn’t this what our very own Munnabhai MBBS wanted too?
You are damn lucky if you haven’t come across a doctor who never wanted to connect with you on any emotional level. Now I know they are busy, but how can a patient open up his trauma if he is still intimidated by his doctor’s status & attitude? I have had dermatologists who even went to the extent of telling me that my Eczema is chronic & I am not going to die with it! Dude even I know I am not going to die of it, but please I don’t need to hear about death when I am already down with the pain killers you prescribed & my skin problems. I understand, it’s all plain simple science for docs & every patient is treated as a “case study”. But do they realize, what can happen if this case#1 could not communicate with the doctor? How I wish they made medicos take psychology classes in med school as well. Now the churlish will argue how everybody should take psychology classes as a part of college curriculum & I don’t believe it will hurt in any way. However, how much damage can I cause to my customer (some weirdo Honda or Subaru engineer) versus a doctor. With a death, that family is devastated, if any doctor can change the fate of any family by being more attentive/sensitive when he is with his patient (BTW he is going to be there anyway), I personally believe the patient will recover sooner!
P.S: If any doc happens to read this blog, plz ignore technical mistakes as long as u get the crux!

Must(ang) Tale

Days after I announced that we needed a new car, we started our discussions on which one to get. I got all sorts of suggestions from my friends/family. Finally I got the car which I wanted, but got quite a few interesting suggestions!

Moi: I need a new car man, may be a Jetta or Civic or Mustang. Why not a mustang, this is my only chance before I get too old. (Spendthrift me!)

Sanjay: Why do we need a new car? I am in love with my camry! I am not trading it in this time for sure. (Practical Sanjay!)

Khangu: You know what, get a bigger car, small cars are useless. Last time, I had an accident; my corolla got totaled, so I decided to get an accord. Why do you think about mpg anyway, do what you feel like, it’s your life & your money! (Royal Khangu! but dude plz drive safely now.)

Arati: Don’t care what everybody says, do what you feel like & get the car that you want! It’s your life, you are not answerable to anyone!! (Feministic Arati)

Rina: Have a look at what the dealers have & bargain a lot with him. These dealers are such junkies! (Sensible Rina)

Dad: Did you take your cold medicine as I had asked you to? (Worried that I was sick)

Aniruddha: Big deal you are buying a car, buy whatever, what do I care! After all you are not going to get a Hummer! (Adrenaline rushing thru his nerves!)

Sanjay: Get a convertible! I won’t trade my camry until we move to Indy.

Me: I need a hood over my head all the time!

End result; I got a Mustang GT!

Sanjay: I will never ever trade my camry in!

This Diwali...

So finally after much anticipation of how the desi diwali party would be like (sanjay’s anticipation), it was lot of fun last night! I got all dressed up in the dainty saree that my dad bought me when I was in Nagpur some days ago. Well, I always feel like dressing up but for some reason or other (like not knowing how to wear make-up, saree etc) never ever do it up to the mark! Anyway, after a lot of convincing from me, sanjay finally wore his kurta on chudidar instead of his jeans! Now how in the world can I tell him he is not supposed to look like “circuit” on diwali night! We were there at shilpa/subodh’s place right on time & not to our surprise the very first attendees for the evening. These are the times when I get mad at desi people, gosh, when will you all ever come on time? After all it was a Sunday & we all needed to get to bed early for the Monday morning at work. But as always, after I see all the friends, I forget they came late! This party was important, as this was our last diwali in little rock. Also, this was a good venue to see all of the gang together. It was only after I saw all of my local friends together, I had a hard time believing, gosh now that I will never be able to see them all, I am actually moving to Indy! Moving is always a pain, I doubt anybody ever likes to start all over again. Food was delicious at shilpa’s & karaoke was fun too! Sanjay sang a song & I thought it was good, although I didn’t tell him so. I have always had a hard time being the appreciative kind; I think he knows it by now. I am sure going to miss vaibhav, rohan, kunal, tanaya & rhea's smiling faces!
We’ll miss Little Rock for sure! Sanjay will miss his cricket team & me; well just LR in general. Hope Indy is as welcoming!

Aur Suna?

I am sure it has happened to every one of us. At some point in school, college, kinder garden, you “two” were inseparable! The lunches had to be shared everyday & every minute details of your life had to be exchanged that very moment, or else you thought the effect was lost! Time passed by & things changed. Now you two have been separated by the realms of time, & the other person very aptly replaced. Nowadays, when you “two” communicate, they call it “catching up”. This catching up is usually time zone & cell phone provider dependant! Many a times, you will find your conversation ending in, “aur batao” & “sab thik to hai”.
Most important thing about friendship; “out of sight, out of mind” stands stronger than “absence makes the heart grow fonder” most of the times!

When life imitates art!

Social revolutions always take place when circumstances demand so. Whenever a society is stirred, troubled at heart, people will speak up! At times, this socio-emotional outburst is a result of the influence of some inspirational politician or some moving book. However, as they say life imitates art, I dare to say art influences life as well. Speaking of which, our movies have had their fair share of impact on society since times when animation was invented. This can be in the way people dress, wear hairdos or more importantly think! I was not born back then, but I think Raj Kapoor movies always dealt with social problems; be it Shree 420, Anari, Prem Rog & so on. He artistically communicated society’s problems at that time (I despise his skin show though!) through a media, which was influential & easily available. Well kapoor is an item of the past now & many have come and gone since then.

We grew up on some funny mithun & govinda movies that taught our neighborhood boys nothing more than break dance (may be I am wrong & they represented the diasporas in some obvious way). Now that our generation is facing life, two most influential movies that stirred our hearts & minds are; Dil Chahta Hai & Rang De Basanti. DCH established the concept that friends can be more than family & relatives at times. It also conveyed, no matter how hip we dress up (yeah all the goatee stuff, branded clothes & perms I am talking about) we still like being Indian & are quite conventional at heart! RDB took DCH’s message a step ahead. When people thought we couldn’t have another Bhagat Singh ever again, this movie gave our society the reason to believe that whenever time demands, a Bhagat Singh will be born in the world. What more, youth got so motivated, Supreme court had to reopen Jessica Lal murder trial & Government had a hard time defending reservation for the medicos! This movie had a simple message; when the common man speaks up, nobody can curb his voice. To prove this you don’t need a balle balle dance sequel in some malhotra-designed wardrobe! Hail the good times coming back to Indian cinema!!

Where is the party tonight?

Growing up, my idea of entertainment was about a pleasant chit-chat with relatives, family & friends. Well back then how many people actually went to some hip coffee shop or some pizza joint to share some hot spicy news? Indian culture predominantly epitomized the idea of fun as some family friends getting together over a cup of evening tea with some Marie biscuits or some local gujju brand chivda! Things always change & although we change with times (not really we like the way we are as Indians & our Indianess down the heart!). Life has changed so much since the open economy revolution of 1992 & its impacts can be seen on common life as well. How many family members (our generation) still return from work at 5 in the evening, practically none! Yeah right we make lot more money than what our dads made when they were our age, but weren’t they a little more grounded than what we are right now?

Introspecting my own lifestyle, now if I have to unwind, I go to some theatre or a mall visit with some friends, well either ways, it involves spending money. At times, everybody is so busy that I myself go to the neighborhood Barnes & noble or the local mall & end up spending more money than I needed to! I remember myself criticizing this American way of life, but just a matter of time & I see me being a part of it. Down the heart I knew I always had more fun over the family get together & unplanned social visits I used to have when nobody was this damn busy. We all know it’s the simple things in life that make a profound impact on our expectations from our life. However, I now realize it is very difficult to maintain & conduct this simplicity. I know everybody out there is missing the same element that I am, but I think now that I have realized it, I will make efforts to try to keep things the way they were. After all, so what if you can’t drop by anymore without any prior notice to your friend’s place as you may wonder if she might be busy, you can always call & visit!

Get over it gals!

Many of my girl friends have been discussing about how they planned & performed their “Karva Chouth” inspite of their hectic work schedules. Well I had nothing to add to their conversation, felt sort of left out! Actually I am married; infact quite happily married but never indulged in any such rituals. I don’t want to leave an impression that I don’t like Indian traditions or am not proud of it or anything just that is it not high time we think before we follow our traditions blindly?

As far as my knowledge goes, “Karva Chouth” fast is kept to wish for the well being/long life of your husband. Well, I pray for his well being everyday, for that matter I know we all pray for our family everyday. Karva chouth was practiced by women in an age when they were not working women & didn’t have any responsibilities other than the mundane domestic ones. Well times have changed for good now! We have been raised equally like our brothers, have been educated & work in a corporate world! How practical is it to fast for an entire day till the moon comes up when one has to show up at work at 7.30 am no matter what? Things should have changed with the changing time in Indian society, but we look confused allover. We want our girls to be engineers, pilots, astronauts & what not, but at the end of the day why do we act mentally weak? How efficiently can one perform at work if you fast for an entire day? We carry ipod’s in our bags & GPS navigator in our cars, but we participate in Karva Chouth, amitabh bacchan offers Rs 1 crore to Lord Tirupathi & Sachin Tendulkar undergoes some sort of “shanti pooja” to get rid of his ancestor’s sins! Culture & tradition are very sacred & should be preserved, but they should not be followed blindly. Beliefs should change with times, with us learning science! If we should fast, we donate a day’s meal saved to some poor kid who sleeps on the floor of his hut with stomach half empty almost everyday! Possibly; what can be achieved with us dressing up in some designer salwar suit/saree, flaunting fancy jewelry & waiting for the moon to show up? Karva Chouth is just another occasion which I picked on, but we Indians perform so many of such traditions blindly in every nook & corner of our country. We are smart, intelligent, brave & good hearted people, is it not high time we initiate some activities to bring about a positive change in our mindset/ society?

Getting started....

All my life, I have been quite afraid of commitment. During my teenage years; I also remember making comments like “I will never get married” & arguing over it with my dad. What changed my beliefs; is a story which needs to be told!

I grew up in a very liberal family & I was always very independent in my outlook & approach. However, whenever I saw people, families, and movies I thought when one is in a marriage (which to me at that time was a final destination in everybody’s life), one looses freedom. I never thought so because I was influenced by those melodramatic movies or was afraid of having a typical Indian husband, but just the idea of being in a relation & revolving my entire life around him seemed like a scary idea! It was not the fear of responsibility, but it was a fear of commitment. However, time has made me realize, when life brings you in front of the right person, all fears disappear & within seconds you know you were afraid of commitment for no reason at all!

Sanjay & I knew each other for almost 3 years before we got married. By nature, I was dead scared to commit him. One thing gave me the courage though; he has this inherent quality in him to make things look simpler! For the logical person that I am, I thought, he can make my life simple too! Marrying sanjay has made me realize that one can be committed for life & still have all the freedom in the world. Freedom is always accompanied by responsibilities & sanjay has made me realize mine! Not that I was irresponsible before, but it was him who made me realize that life can be beautiful with responsibilities & bondage. Today I feel like responsibilities help us learn how to handle life better! My brother once asked me why do people get married & I told him that I got married to have someone by me to witness my life!