Ever since I have been in US which has been a little less than 5 years, I have always observed friends & acquaintances arguing over an all time favorite “should they settle in India or US”. I have individual opinions on this one & rather have mixed feelings. These days I have also learnt that to have opinions is one thing & to express them in a judgmental way is another; especially so when opinions are so relative. I have also started believing that there are “grey” areas where you can dwell happily & not every thing has to be either right or wrong. However I will try not to stray from the focus.
Honestly speaking, I find US a great place to live & raise kids. A place where they can be what they want to without yielding to the pressure of what people think is right. I have observed one thing every single day since last 5 years; the level of respect I got as an individual cannot be disregarded. From my experience, you don’t have to be “somebody” to enjoy life; you do so even after being “anybody”. One thing I regret for myself is the career path I chose without considering my options. I am happy where I am, but how do I know that I would not have been a better teacher or journalist or lawyer. When I saw grad students who were in materials field because that’s what they always wanted to do, I question myself often; what was it that I always wanted to do? I am afraid my answer doesn’t match what I am today. Again, all this freedom & individuality can be exploited & kids can get into drugs & liquor & things of this nature that I am not aware of. I also take the safer path; you can get into this no matter where you are, but the probability is higher in US. These days I have started thinking globally, I mean any place is after all just a flight’s distance away.
That was my side of the story, whenever people say they want to move to India, they give reasons like our family values, morals, social manners, education system & “sanskriti”. At times I fail to understand these factors. I have seen Americans who have as good or better family values than us, morals, work ethics etc etc. Italians, Chinese, Japanese, have family life & good morals. I just read that in Noida, kids were robbed of their kidneys & killed. http://www.shekharkapur.com/blog/archives/2007/01/a_mothers_lette.htm#more What sanskriti or morals do we talk of? I don’t want to leave an impression that I am not patriotic, yes I am, I am proud of my country, I am proud of the qualities I have just because I am an Indian, & also the family structure. But any Indian is as special as any Italian or Venezuelan, they all have rich traditions, values & more so, very similar to ours. Indians who feel like they should move back home, may do so & those who think they should stay here for good should stay back; whatever suits you & your situation. I am not sure what I am going to do. However, let’s ask ourselves a question, who are we to judge everybody else’s way of life? We always complain of Americans racially discriminating against us, what better do we do?
Honestly speaking, I find US a great place to live & raise kids. A place where they can be what they want to without yielding to the pressure of what people think is right. I have observed one thing every single day since last 5 years; the level of respect I got as an individual cannot be disregarded. From my experience, you don’t have to be “somebody” to enjoy life; you do so even after being “anybody”. One thing I regret for myself is the career path I chose without considering my options. I am happy where I am, but how do I know that I would not have been a better teacher or journalist or lawyer. When I saw grad students who were in materials field because that’s what they always wanted to do, I question myself often; what was it that I always wanted to do? I am afraid my answer doesn’t match what I am today. Again, all this freedom & individuality can be exploited & kids can get into drugs & liquor & things of this nature that I am not aware of. I also take the safer path; you can get into this no matter where you are, but the probability is higher in US. These days I have started thinking globally, I mean any place is after all just a flight’s distance away.
That was my side of the story, whenever people say they want to move to India, they give reasons like our family values, morals, social manners, education system & “sanskriti”. At times I fail to understand these factors. I have seen Americans who have as good or better family values than us, morals, work ethics etc etc. Italians, Chinese, Japanese, have family life & good morals. I just read that in Noida, kids were robbed of their kidneys & killed. http://www.shekharkapur.com/blog/archives/2007/01/a_mothers_lette.htm#more What sanskriti or morals do we talk of? I don’t want to leave an impression that I am not patriotic, yes I am, I am proud of my country, I am proud of the qualities I have just because I am an Indian, & also the family structure. But any Indian is as special as any Italian or Venezuelan, they all have rich traditions, values & more so, very similar to ours. Indians who feel like they should move back home, may do so & those who think they should stay here for good should stay back; whatever suits you & your situation. I am not sure what I am going to do. However, let’s ask ourselves a question, who are we to judge everybody else’s way of life? We always complain of Americans racially discriminating against us, what better do we do?
9 comments:
ispe apnadiscussion hua hai isliye no comments. aur lengthy discussion hona chahiye phir kabhi.
yup even i wud like to keep my comments reserved on this ....i m going back for sure ... jisko jisko chalna ho bata dena ..lol
every place has its good moments and bad moments.... and there are always ways at looking at things which are relative... its like you wanna replicate your being and try out everything so that you can make the right choices... but you know thats not an option...
then again life is always the same, but everyone lives it in their own way... and as long as you feel at the end of the day that you have done what you could, you should do ok.... :-)
and don't worry about doing certain things within a certain time frame/ a certain age.... take your time...
I think the world is flat ...India US everyone has access to everplace - all the comforts - equal opportunities and avenues - infact maybe more - the discussion seems to be losing its relevance overtime...
eventually what matters is the happiness and contentment in life whether you are in moon or earth- whatever suits you the best and gives you peace in your mind-
I am glad that you are finally over your US is the best "for everyone" approach and have started understanding other point of views ... way to go :)...
arati, hon i never had the view US is best for everyone view, u certainly got me wrong there. however, i always wonder abt the other things that desi people use as excuses to acuse US for not being a good place :)
hey...very well written....this is definitely something cannot be generalized...everyone has there own way of living and priorities....and they change with age...lets discuss on our next get together...till then...adios...
Nice post, since it is a food for thought about several points.
People who say they always wanted to do a particular program in Masters are taking a narrower view of life. Life needs a long-term goal, and be it India or the US, most of us don't have it.
The glass can be half-empty or half-full. Just as you will find cultured Americans, you will find Indians who have thought about their lives.
It is a matter of deciding if you want to send your kids to schools in a system where:
1. scientists are struggling even to prove the viability of science against concepts such as intelligent design (Indian view: half-emtpy), or
2. there is enough freedom to force scientists to prove the viability of science (American view: half-full).
Do you want to send your kids to schools in a country where:
1. the importance to education and learning are reaching a very low (half-empty), or
2. there are so many options that education is not important (half-full)?
In my view, people take the easiest road up. For example, in India, higher education is/was the easiest way to lead a good life. In the US, education is the harder road to that goal.
However, it is probably worthwhile to note that one's decisions are also influenced by the company one keeps. Several of my close friends have gone back to India for good and more and more people I know are doing the same. But, the driving reason in almost all the cases is an intense desire to do something that they cannot do out here in the US. One has to find that and know that if you go back to India, the hardships and benefits are different from the ones that you will have in the US, where interestingly, people say raising kids is a tough job, simply because of the enormous amount of time that you have to devote to that activity!
There are goods and bads about every place, but our decisions should not be based on our current experiences at one place and past experiences at another, especially in a country that is developing like India. Your experiences as a child and youth in India are terribly different from the current crop out there. 4-5 years, according to me, is a generation gap in a growing society like India, not so much in a stable society as the US!
You are supposed to look at the long-term future - what after 15-20 years from now? What are you ready to forego to be there? How can you extrapolate your past experiences about one place and current experiences about another to the life where you want to be in the long-term. Probably, life is a multi-period decision game. You will end up where you are based on the decisions you make. And it applies to deciding between staying at Chicago or Indianapolis today, just as much as it applies to deciding between US and India!
i think u right abt everything u said. but u see, that's why we picked up indianapolis over chicago :)
Never meant to say that anything that you wrote was wrong. Just wanted to my "don shabd."
I am sure you chose Indy over Chicago for a reason, or at least the superbowl gave you one!
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